The Struggle With "Being" Fat

This is my body, today, right now. 

Some days I look in the mirror and manage to convince myself that my body is "not so bad" but rarely - and possibly never - have I ever really believed my body was beautiful. 

There will be people who comment on this post to say "of course your body is beautiful and of course you are worthy of love right now," and they might mean it, but it might just be what they think they're supposed to say. 

It's crazy that when I see a photo of a plus-size person being depicted in a TV show or an ad I think "good for you" but sometimes I can't convince my brain that they are "beautiful."